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R. Henry Ebelt
Another joke
In times of political campaigns, I would like to share with you another joke I got from a friend, through an e-mail. Pay attention to the fact that what you will read is a joke (piada). It is not an anecdote. The word anecdote refers to a short, perhaps funny, but true story, which is not the case of a joke.
The Babylon dictionary describes ANECDOTE as a short narrative describing an interesting or amusing incident and the word JOKE is described as a funny tale.
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
The Senator's soul arrives in heaven. There he is met by St. Peter, at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
" No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.
St. Peter says, "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
" Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules", replies St. Peter.
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar, and champagne.
Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly person who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty (cordial) farewell (good-bye) and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven," St Peter says.
So, 24 hours pass with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, and singing. They have a good time, the 24 hour period in heaven passes by, and St. Peter returns.
"Well, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now which will you choose for your eternity?" St Peter asks.
The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well, I never would have thought it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be happier and better off ... in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and the senator finds himself in the middle of a barren land (infertile, unproductive land) covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags (old clothes), picking up the trash (garbage) and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers (stutter, stumble over one's words, hesitate, falter, pause, halt, splutter) the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says:
"Yesterday we were campaigning. Today…you have already voted."
Have an excellent weekend.
Roberto Henry Ebelt é professor, escritor, produz uma coluna semanal para o Jornal do Comércio de Porto Alegre deste 2001 e é diretor do curso HENRY'S BUSINESS ENGLISH desde 1971.
Seu mais recente livro, O QUE VOCÊ DEVE SABER ANTES DE ESTUDAR INGLÊS, pode ser encontrado nas livrarias Disal, Cultura e SBS ou à rua Hoffmann, 728 em Porto Alegre.
E-mail: roberto@henrys.com.br
Fone (51) 3222-3144
www.henrys.com.br
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