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ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA?

Roberto Henry Ebelt

12.06.2015

ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA?

Apenas para quem fala inglês e com mais de 50 anos, segue o texto abaixo, cujo autor não conheço, mas imagino que seja um americano:

ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA? ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING?

ONE: Recently, I went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half a dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but sadly true...) (Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.).

TWO: I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

The lady behind me had a big smirk (=sorriso forçado) on her face as I left.

THREE: A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy (=coisa, objeto cujo nome não nos lembramos).

FOUR: I recently saw a distraught (=distraído, perturbado, confuso)) young lady weeping beside her car.

'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

 FIVE: Several years ago, we had an intern (=estagiário) who was none too swift(=de raciocínio meio lento) One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

SIX: A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room beacause the kid had eaten ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer...'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right now!'

Como dá para ver, não é só no Brasil que o mundo parece muito estranho, embora não seja fácil entender o que se passa na cabeça de quem é contra encarcerar jovens assassinos e bandidos.


Professor Vincent Uzomah, esfaqueado por "jovem contraventor" de 14 aninhos, em Yorkshire.

Na Inglaterra a polícia acaba de prender, hoje dia 11/06/2015, um bandido de 14 anos que esfaqueou o seu professor, no foto, em Yorkshire, enquanto aqui até quem deveria saber melhor é contra a (insignificante) diminuição da maioridade penal para 16 anos. Viva a nossa sociedade permissiva e politicamente correta. Aqui, as coisas sempre podem ficar piores do que já estão. Será que nossos "líderes" nunca vão aprender que moleza não é a solução para delinquentes?

Dixi.


Tags: Roberto Henry Ebelt, inglês, artigo, coluna


Roberto Henry Ebelt é professor, escritor, escreveu uma coluna semanal para o Jornal do Comércio de Porto Alegre entre 2001 e 2013, e é diretor do curso HENRY'S BUSINESS ENGLISH desde 1971.

Seu mais recente livro, O QUE VOCÊ DEVE SABER ANTES DE ESTUDAR INGLÊS, pode ser encontrado nas livrarias Disal, Cultura e SBS ou à rua Hoffmann, 728 em Porto Alegre.

E-mail: roberto@henrys.com.br
Fone (51) 3222-3144
www.henrys.com.br
Página no Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/henrysbusinessnglish/?pnref=lhc




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